"They utter mere words; with empty oaths they make covenants; so judgment springs up like poisonous weeds
in the furrows of the field."
"Sow for yourselves righteousness;
reap steadfast love;
break up your fallow ground,
for it is the time to seek the Lord,
that he may come and rain
righteousness upon you."
I read these words in Hosea and I can relate. When you've gone through the labor of bringing in the good soil, breaking it and tilling it under, forming it and watering the furrows with the sweat from your own forehead as your form up the rows, the last thing you want to see is a poisonous weed taking pleasure, reveling in the labor of vain,
stealing the nutrients from your garden.
"The more they were called, the more they went away..."
I am not alone.
I stand in the footsteps of the whole of history.
To come asunder, into the question of such an agonizing thought.
To pick up the axe with weakened grip,
To break up the fallow ground, the soil already prepared and sown with seed, is a painful experience.
Nothing hurts more.
To start over from scratch, to bring yourself back to nothing, absolute brokenness,
is it possible to return from the cusp of such sorrow?
Only in seeking the Lord,
To marinate in His mercy and grace.
There can I find the only light to break forth the dawn.
Do you see how His love does not wane,
how He desires to permeate the
soil of our souls?
"My heart recoils within me;
my compassion grows warm and tender.
I will not execute my burning anger...
for I am God and not a man,
the Holy One in your midst,
and I will not come in wrath."